The Marshawnshank Redemption

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Marshawn Lynch continues to grow his legend on almost a daily basis now. His one-liner press conferences started out as a gag, but have quickly snowballed into a cultural phenomenon.

From “Yeah” to “Thanks for Askin” to “You Know Why I’m Here,” Lynch has shown the press that he isn’t about to warm up to them anytime soon. It’s hard to blame Beast Mode for hating the media. Never known for being well spoken or a camera whore, Lynch has been an easy target for media ridicule during his career. And guess what? He don’t need none of it. He’s not having it. “I’m here so I won’t get fined” is a wonderful slap in the face to all these fool reporters who just want to extract a quote they can use against him.

As former journalists somehow holding college degrees in the field, we at the Spleaze are fairly disgusted by the lack of creativity and professionalism by these incessant Seattle beat writers. Always with the same fucking vanilla questions. Hey geniuses.. instead of asking him how it feels to win, or what he thinks of his teammates voting him MVP, or if he likes Tom Brady, how about throwing him some curveballs?

When Lynch is answering every question with “I’m Thankful,” throw him a god damn trick. You know what his answer will be; tailor your question.

“Marshawn, did you know they’re legalizing marijuana in all 50 states? “I’m thankful.” BOOM! Gold story right there, and you’ll probably get him to crack a smile too.

Rule #1, you shitty reporters – make yourselves stand out.

*Original Background Image via vanityfair.com

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