Matt Prater Falls off the Wagon

It was quite a day in the life of NFL Kicker Matt Prater. Upon waking up, Prater first attempts to figure out where the fuck he is. After a quick look around, he affirms that he is in in a trashed hotel penthouse in Reno Nevada, unconscious and half-dead prostitutes littering the room.

A strange formation of Guinness Stout bottles dominates the center of the room, while footballs lay in front of shattered mirrors throughout the establishment.Β The smell of skunked beer, piss and shame lingers. After an earth-shattering round of beer shits, Prater calls the desk to ask when he checked in.

This might be the incident that got Matt Prater suspended,Β eventually cost him his job and forced him onto the cover of countless sports memes. It also probably isn’t even close to what happened, but it’s way more fun to think that this is how he fell off the metaphorical wagon. In the end, we forgive him.

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