Sproles Royce, a 5’6″ bullet of football explosion. We haven’t found many running backs like Darren Sproles – an unstoppably elusive force weaving in and out of brief lanes like Indiana Jones through spiked walls.
He shines in primetime games and punishes when called upon. The Philadelphia Eagles can only gaze with admiration as he and LeSean McCoy make daily fantasy football diehards drool all over their keyboards. It’s truly a phenomenal site, to watch this undersize tailback defy gravity and pretty much all football odds; becoming a fucking hero to all short kids. The one they need and the one they deserve right now.
To those who questioned Sproles’ NFL future since his prolific days at Kansas State, Darren Sproles says bang boom pow. After becoming a luxury car-based sports meme, Sproles will continue to shove his solid performances into the faces of all his doubters. Carry on, scat-back extraordinaire, they can’t even see you.